“I PUNISHED THEM LAST TIME!” 5 Secrets To Balanced Parenting
Parenting isn’t always easy, especially when it comes to deciding which parent is going to dole out the discipline. Arguments often ensue, as a result of one parent insisting that the other be “the bad guy.” It’s an uncomfortable situation for everyone involved if you don’t know these 5 Secrets to Balanced Parenting.
5 Secrets To Balanced Parenting
The good news is that there are things that you can do, as the disciplinarian, to better communicate with the unwilling parent. Keep reading for more information.
When being asked to lay down the law, be insistent in your explanation that you feel the task needs to be a shared responsibility. Indicate that you prefer to talk to your children as part of a team. This will help to prevent the possibility that your child will automatically take sides and end up preferring to deal with the more lenient parent whenever times get tough.
Giving in to the other person’s demands, just to make the problem go away, isn’t an answer. Think of it as putting the bandage on a cut which really needs stitches. It’s always much better to come to some type of agreement in regard to sharing disciplinary responsibilities, rather than just giving up.
When your spouse, ex or significant other demands that you talk to your child to rectify an issue, do everything you can not to argue about it – especially when the child is in earshot. Even if you have to step away for a moment to gather your thoughts, it’s much better than getting into a heated discussion.
Along the same lines, never tell your children that the other parent is making you discipline them. It should be obvious that bad-mouthing mom or dad will only create more animosity and lessen the chance of everyone getting along in the future.
Many times, in cases like this, silent parents are silent because they lack confidence in their parenting skills… especially when there is tension in the household. Try to reassure your child’s other parent that he or she is an important part in the disciplinary process and that you truly value their input in the matter.
Unfortunately, there can be mental consequences to ignoring balanced parenting and experiencing frequent “good cop, bad cop” discipline sessions. Children learn about relationships by watching their parents. So, as adults, these same children will be more apt to get into an identical routine with their own kids.
In addition, on an even deeper level, children whose parents have a difficult time with discipline sometimes suffer from lower self-esteem. Typically, when a child feels as though a parent has a problem accomplishing something, he (or she) perceives the same of himself.
“Good Cop, Bad Cop” is for criminals, not children.
Pitting one parent against the other never solves anything. It only creates more tension and possibly even alienation.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having different parenting styles. Varying perspectives are quite beneficial when it comes to many parenting-related issues. Problems occur when one parent is so set in his or her ways is it difficult for them to try something different.
Everyone cooped up indoors and patience is running thin? Check out How To Keep Kids Happy Indoors