Relationships take work and making sure to keep your relationship healthy is a must. You deserve and need to feel like your relationship is good for you, not leaving you to feel sad or disrespected.
I know what a few of you are thinking. “Great, someone else talking about relationships who has probably been in one for maybe a year or two”. Believe me, I understand. A couple of years ago I was approached to review a book about marriage. The couple who wrote the book had been married three years…..I had to decline the review. Why? Because they felt they were “experts” after three years. I’ve been married now for 28 years and I wouldn’t call myself an “expert”.
We’ve learned over those years what works for us and doesn’t work. These tips may not totally work for your relationship, but you may be able to tailor them to fit yours.
One thing that we learned a long time ago, after we became parents, was to still have date nights. They are so crucial! I can remember a time when older women would say you never go on dates when you are married, let alone when you are parents. You are parents now so act like it. That theology is so, so wrong! The most detrimental thing you can do is NOT go on a date with your spouse. It takes work to keep that spark alive and as parents, we are setting the example for our kids on how a relationship should be.
Don’t think going on a date with your spouse has to be a major event, you have to pay for a sitter, or you have to go to a fancy restaurant. None of that is true. Sure, it’s nice to be treated or to spoil yourselves, however, date nights can be very inexpensive!
One of our favorite things to do is have a spontaneous date day. You know, one of those days when the grandparents call last minute and say they want to pick the kids up for a few hours. Or if you plan to get a pizza and watch a movie together AFTER the kids go to sleep. Date days/nights do not have to be expensive at all!
Another option for a date day, which we normally will do in lieu of going out at night, is to plan a date day. It’s usually on a weekend, but there are times we’ve planned it when my husband has taken a vacation day. That way the kids are in school or if it’s on a weekend, they will spend the day with their grandparents. That way no sitters are involved, you can order from the lunch menu instead of the dinner, and places are usually less busy.
If you have a date day/night all planned out, if you have multiple vehicles, consider which one you are taking. Before we bought my SUV, we would take my husband’s car since it wasn’t my mini van. That way we at least, especially me, got a break from the van and sometimes that odd smell that would come from the van…..if you are a parent, you know all too well about the odd “smell”. Of course if money is no object, you may have several vehicles to choose from, however, for most of us, we have “Mom’s car” and “Dad’s car”.
If you are looking at your vehicles and thinking that both of them are really “family” cars and you would at least like to have a “fun” car, the “fun” car doesn’t have to cost you a lot of money!
Now, before you say, ” I can’t afford a new car”. Check out this stylish car that we have been driving around for the past week!
This cute automobile is a 2018 Mitsubishi Mirage G4 SE. Isn’t she gorgeous! I have to admit I am loving this Saphire Blue! This car retails new for $18k. Oh and did I mention the gas mileage??? 37 city AND 43 highway! Yes 43 highway!! That is stellar gas mileage! Here are some shots of the inside of the car.
There is plenty of room inside as there is room for 5. It would be a great car for a family of four or for a couple on a date day/night.
This 2018 Mitsubishi Mirage G4 SE is sporty, fun, and can accelerate from 0 to 60 in 10.9 seconds. Some of the features of this machine are:
- 7.0″ Touch panel display audio system
- Rearview camera
- Bluetooth® wireless technology
- Air conditioning
- Remote keyless entry with panic feature
- Power Windows and door locks
- Rear spoiler
- Hill Start Assist (HSA)
Imagine jumping in this vehicle to just go and get groceries, like I did in this picture.
Which by the way, look at how much room is in the trunk!
Date day/night doesn’t have to be expensive to rekindle the spark. It takes creativity and willingness to be spontaneous.
Here are some tips to on How to Have A Healthy Relationship:
Make sure that both partners are communicating clearly with the other. Communication is one area many fail at, but if you can learn to talk to each other in a healthy way it can really help your relationship. If your significant other is struggling with what you’re saying, think of how to say it in a different way that they might better understand it. Just be open and honest at all times, and that helps you to know that your relationship is working and growing.
Make the Other feel Appreciated and Needed
Make sure to take the time to say thank you for things, leave a little note wishing them a good day, giving back rubs, etc. Let them know they are special and loved and most of all appreciated and needed.
Have Me Time
Every person in a relationship needs to make sure they have time for themselves. We need time to do stuff we enjoy without our significant other. Whether it’s staying at home crafting or going to a movie with a friend, you need that balance. Having alone time will help you know your identity outside of this relationship. In a relationship, it’s ok to have your own time just respect your significant other’s choices of their me time and individuality. It is a must for a healthy relationship to have time for you alone.
*One of the things I like to do, that I have done since I started driving, was go on a drive by myself. Sometimes I’m gone for 30/40 minutes. Sometimes a couple of hours. There’s just something about turning up the radio, rolling the windows down, and just driving with no destination. My drive this week, during our test drive, was a mini road trip to a covered bridge in Spencerville Indiana.
Realize You are Different People
Always remember that each person is different. While you might be similar in many areas you won’t always see eye to eye. That is normal and just make sure in those moments where you aren’t seeing eye to eye you do it in a positive and healthy way. Just listen to what they are saying and respond in a kind and loving way.
Spend Quality Time Together
Make sure to plan space in your day where you can take time for each other. Even if you sit on the couch and talk about the future or your favorite things about each other. Just work on the two of you connecting and growing together. If you don’t spend time together you can’t grow stronger and could easily drift apart.
Remember you are in charge of your own happiness. Don’t rely on your partner to meet your every need. If you aren’t happy look at yourself and see what work you can do for you to change that. No one will ever fulfill you the way you need, that has to come from you alone.
When you argue or have a disagreement you have to remember that you have to be respectful to your significant other. Don’t say hateful or mean things that you can’t take back or allow the fight to escalate. Work through the fight and allow the argument to help you both grow and learn in your relationship. When you fight over the same thing and nothing changes or gets better is where it begins to become an issue, that can be unhealthy. Never say, “YOU ALWAYS”. That is never a fair statement.
Even More Ways To Have A Healthy Relationship
• Focus on the positive and let go of the negative little things.
• Support and Encourage your partner always.
• Showing affection on a regular basis, even if holding hands.
• Being kind to the partner’s family and friends.
• Having deeper conversations about life or your future together.
• Nurturing and working on yourself to be the best version of you, that you can be.
• Have your partners back if they have an issue with someone else.
• Ask for things you want in the relationship if you don’t feel you are getting them. Best to be honest.
• Be creative with spending time together.
• Make decisions together at times.
• Trusting your partner fully.
• You feel you can tell them a secret and they will keep it is a good sign!
• Try to understand their perspective without getting upset if you are in a disagreement.
What different ways have you and your significant other came up with to keep the spark alive in your relationship?