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Why Doesn’t My Child Do What I Ask?

Why Doesn't My Child Do What I Ask

It’s been a frustrating day! The kids refuse to do as asked and maybe even seem to ignore you. You’re starting to lose your cool. Sound familiar? In a perfect world, children would obey their parents without a second thought. Unfortunately, the world isn’t perfect and neither are our kids. If you keep asking yourself “Why doesn’t my child do what I ask?” never fear – there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Why Doesn't My Child Do What I Ask

Why Doesn’t My Child Do What I Ask?

Tips to get your child to do what you ask… without begging, bribing, threatening and screaming.

Be Versatile

No two children the same. It’s for that reason that you need to be versatile when it comes to getting your children to obey you. Some kids are naturally strong willed, which poses more of a challenge. You may have to impose consequences several times in order for them to follow the rules. If one particular consequence doesn’t seem to be doing the trick, the best thing to do is to try a new one.

Choose Your Battles

Don’t reinforce rules that don’t have major significance. For example, in the case of older children, don’t be so strict about things like having them make the bed the first thing in the morning. It’s more important for them to always wear a helmet when skateboarding or riding a bike.

When attempting to get your children to follow the rules, regardless of their ages, issue an appropriate time limit. Simply giving them a list of things to do, without a timeframe attached, means that what you’re asking them to do may never get done.

→ Check out: Tips to Overcome Power Struggles with Your Child

Why doesn't my child do what I ask

Be an Active Listener

It’s extremely important to listen to your children, regardless of how well they do what you ask. If they continue to disobey you, even after multiple attempts of being told what to do, take the time to sit down with them and ask them what the problem is. Getting down to the bottom of the issue will help you both understand the steps you should take to rectify the problem.

→ Check out: The Skill of Active Listening

Say What You Mean

When you tell your child to do something, mean it. Following through is everything. Children who don’t obey only learn by being presented with a set of age-appropriate consequences. No consequences simply means that they can continue to ignore your requests without any major changes in their daily routine.

Why doesn't my child do what I ask

Make Sure They Are Actually Paying Attention

Sometimes the answer to Why Doesn’t My Child Do What I Ask? is simple: they literally weren’t listening. Make sure your child is paying full attention to what you’re saying. Look them in the eye to let them know that you mean business. Many parents make the mistake of yelling commands from another room. Typically, when this happens the request is taken much less seriously. If your child isn’t in the same room with you, ask him to come to you or take an extra minute and go to the child.

Stand Your Ground

Probably the most important thing to remember is to stand your ground. Never give in, no matter how tense the situation. If you give in once, your kids will remember that the next time they don’t want to obey. They’ll drag things out until you decide to give in again.

→ Check out: How To Stop Yelling At Your Child

These are just a few simple things that you can do to get your child to obey you the first time, without the need to threaten or beg. It may take a bit of time to achieve satisfactory results. But, with patience and due diligence, chances are you’ll soon see major improvement.