MomSkoop
First dates can be nerve-wracking, and it’s easy to slip into habits that might send the wrong message. While nobody’s perfect, certain behaviors tend to make guys lose interest faster than you’d think. Understanding what might rub someone the wrong way can help you put your best foot forward and actually enjoy the experience.
1. Being Glued To Your Phone
Nothing says “I’d rather be somewhere else” quite like scrolling through Instagram while your date tries to start a conversation. Sure, checking your phone once or twice is totally understandable—maybe you’re expecting an important message or need to let someone know you’re safe.
But when you’re constantly tapping away, liking posts, or texting friends throughout the meal, it creates a wall between you two. Your date might start wondering if they’re boring you or if you’re even interested at all.
The whole point of meeting up is to get to know each other, and that’s pretty hard when your attention is divided. Put the phone on silent, tuck it away, and give the person across from you the attention they deserve. You’ll both have a much better time.
2. Talking Only About Yourself
Ever been stuck listening to someone who treats every conversation like their personal TED Talk? It’s exhausting. When you dominate the entire date with stories about your job, your friends, your vacation, and your opinions without pausing to ask questions, it feels one-sided.
Guys appreciate when someone shows genuine curiosity about their life too. A good conversation flows back and forth like a tennis match, not a monologue.
If you catch yourself talking for several minutes straight, take a breath and ask him something. What does he do for fun? What’s his take on the topic you just mentioned? Making space for his voice shows you’re interested in more than just hearing yourself talk. Balance makes everything better.
3. Trash-Talking Your Ex
Mentioning past relationships isn’t automatically a red flag—after all, they’re part of your story. But there’s a massive difference between briefly acknowledging an ex and launching into a bitter, detailed breakdown of everything they did wrong.
When you spend half the date venting about how terrible your last boyfriend was, it makes the guy wonder if you’re over it yet. He might worry he’ll become the villain in your next story.
Heavy emotional baggage on date one feels awkward and uncomfortable. Instead of dwelling on past drama, keep things light and forward-focused. If the topic comes up naturally, a quick mention is fine, but save the deep dives for later when trust is built.
4. Being Rude To Staff
How you treat waiters, bartenders, or any service staff speaks volumes about your character. Snapping your fingers, speaking condescendingly, or complaining rudely about minor issues is an instant dealbreaker for most guys.
They’re watching how you interact with people who can’t push back, and it raises a huge red flag. If you’re unkind to someone bringing your food, what does that say about how you’ll treat him down the road when things get tough?
Kindness costs nothing, and showing respect to everyone—not just the person you’re trying to impress—demonstrates maturity and decency. A simple “please” and “thank you” goes a long way. Guys notice this stuff, and treating staff well actually makes you more attractive.
5. Acting Super Uninterested On Purpose
Sometimes people try to play it cool by acting like they couldn’t care less, thinking it makes them seem mysterious or desirable. The problem? It usually just comes across as you not wanting to be there.
Giving short answers, avoiding eye contact, or acting bored might be your way of protecting yourself from seeming too eager, but he’s likely interpreting it as total disinterest. Why would he plan a second date if he thinks you’re counting the minutes until you can leave?
Genuine interest is attractive, not desperate. Smile, laugh at his jokes if they’re funny, and engage in the conversation. Being present and warm doesn’t make you seem clingy—it makes you seem like someone worth getting to know better.
6. Showing Up Way Late With No Text
Traffic jams happen. Trains get delayed. Life throws curveballs, and sometimes being late is unavoidable. But showing up twenty or thirty minutes late without sending a quick text feels really disrespectful.
Your date is sitting there wondering if you forgot, if you stood him up, or if something bad happened. That’s not a fun way to start an evening.
A simple message saying you’re running behind and giving an updated arrival time shows consideration and maturity. Silence, on the other hand, suggests you don’t value his time or the plans you made together. Even if the delay wasn’t your fault, communicating about it makes all the difference and sets a respectful tone for the relationship.
7. Making It Feel Like An Interview
Asking questions is great—it shows you want to learn about him. But firing off a list of heavy, rapid-fire questions like “What are your career goals?” and “Where do you see yourself in five years?” can make the date feel more like a job interview than a fun outing.
When every topic is serious and probing right from the start, the pressure builds and the lightness disappears. Dates should feel enjoyable, not like an interrogation or compatibility test.
Mix in some playful, easygoing questions too. Ask about his favorite pizza topping, the last concert he went to, or what show he’s binge-watching. Keep things balanced so the conversation flows naturally and you both actually have fun together.
8. Oversharing Really Personal Stuff Too Soon
Vulnerability and openness are important in relationships, but there’s a time and place for deep personal revelations. Unloading heavy trauma, family drama, or intense emotional struggles on a first date can feel overwhelming.
He barely knows you yet, and suddenly he’s hearing about your biggest fears, worst breakups, or therapy sessions. It’s not that he doesn’t care—it’s just a lot to process when you’re still figuring out if you even like each other’s sense of humor.
Building emotional intimacy takes time, and pacing matters. Keep the first date lighter and save the deeper stuff for when trust and comfort have developed naturally. There’s plenty of time to share your story as things progress.
9. Flexing Or Bragging Too Hard
Confidence is incredibly attractive—there’s no doubt about that. But there’s a fine line between being self-assured and coming across as boastful or arrogant.
Constantly name-dropping celebrities you’ve met, talking about how much money you make, or listing all your accomplishments without pause makes the date feel like a competition rather than a connection. He might start feeling like you’re trying to prove something instead of just being yourself.
Real confidence doesn’t need to shout. It shows up in how you carry yourself, how you listen, and how comfortable you are in your own skin. Let your achievements speak for themselves naturally through conversation, rather than turning the date into a highlight reel of why you’re amazing.
10. Focusing A Lot On Money Or Status
Appreciating nice things is completely normal, and there’s nothing wrong with enjoying a good restaurant or talking about your career ambitions. But when the conversation keeps circling back to designer brands, salary figures, or what kind of car he drives, it sends a clear message about priorities.
Guys can tell when someone seems more interested in their bank account than their personality. Constantly mentioning prices, asking pointed questions about his financial situation, or judging his choices based on cost feels shallow and transactional.
Focus instead on who he is as a person—his values, his humor, his passions. Building a connection based on genuine compatibility rather than material status creates something real and lasting.
11. Trying Too Hard To Impress
We all want to make a good impression, but forcing laughter at every joke, pretending to love all his hobbies, or completely changing your personality to match what you think he wants usually backfires. People can sense when someone isn’t being genuine.
If you claim to be obsessed with fishing when you’ve never held a rod, or fake enthusiasm for heavy metal when you actually prefer pop, it’s going to show eventually. And then what?
Authenticity is way more appealing than a performance. Be honest about your interests, laugh when something’s actually funny, and don’t be afraid to have different opinions. The right person will appreciate the real you, quirks and all. Relax and let your true personality shine through naturally.