11 Mistakes That Make Women Look Less Confident

Confidence is a powerful quality that influences how others perceive you and how you feel about yourself. Sometimes, without even realizing it, small habits or behaviors can chip away at the confident image you want to project. Understanding these common mistakes can help you make simple changes that boost your self-assurance and help you shine in any situation.

1. Apologizing Too Much

Ever notice how often you say sorry for things that aren’t your fault?

Women often apologize for taking up space, asking questions, or simply existing in a room.

This habit can make you seem uncertain or like you’re seeking permission for normal actions.

When you constantly apologize, people may start to see you as less authoritative.

Try replacing unnecessary apologies with thank-yous instead. For example, say “thank you for waiting” instead of “sorry I’m late.”

This small shift changes the entire tone of your communication and positions you as someone who values others without diminishing yourself.

2. Using Upspeak or Ending Statements Like Questions

Your voice rises at the end of sentences, making statements sound like questions?

This pattern, called upspeak, can undermine your message even when you know exactly what you’re talking about.

It signals uncertainty to listeners and makes them question whether you believe in your own words.

Confident speakers use a downward inflection when making statements, which sounds more decisive and authoritative.

Practice recording yourself speaking and listen for these patterns.

Work on ending your sentences with a lower, steady tone to project more certainty and command attention when you speak.

3. Minimizing Your Accomplishments

When someone compliments your work, do you immediately deflect with “Oh, it was nothing” or “I just got lucky”?

Downplaying your achievements might feel humble, but it actually tells others not to take your successes seriously.

Confident people acknowledge their hard work and accept recognition gracefully.

They understand that owning their accomplishments doesn’t make them arrogant.

Next time someone praises you, simply say “thank you” and maybe add what you learned from the experience.

This shows you value your own efforts and helps others see your true capabilities without false modesty getting in the way.

4. Poor Posture and Closed Body Language

Slumping shoulders, crossed arms, and making yourself physically smaller sends a clear message: you’d rather not be noticed.

Body language speaks volumes before you even open your mouth.

When you hunch over or fold into yourself, others perceive you as unsure or defensive.

Standing tall with your shoulders back and arms relaxed at your sides projects openness and self-assurance.

Fun fact: research shows that holding confident postures for just two minutes can actually increase your testosterone levels and decrease stress hormones!

Try the “power pose” before important meetings—stand with feet apart and hands on hips to boost your confidence from the inside out.

5. Avoiding Eye Contact

Looking at the floor, your phone, or anywhere but at the person speaking to you?

Eye contact is one of the most powerful tools for building trust and showing confidence.

When you avoid someone’s gaze, it can seem like you’re hiding something or lacking conviction.

Strong eye contact demonstrates that you’re engaged, interested, and comfortable in your own skin.

If direct eye contact feels uncomfortable, try looking at the bridge of someone’s nose or switching your focus between both eyes.

Aim for maintaining eye contact about 60-70% of the time during conversations to strike the perfect balance between confident and comfortable.

6. Speaking Too Softly or Quietly

Mumbling or speaking barely above a whisper forces people to strain to hear you, and they might just stop trying altogether.

Your voice is an instrument of influence, and using it properly makes all the difference.

When you speak softly, people may interpret it as a lack of confidence in your message.

Speaking clearly and at an appropriate volume shows you believe your words deserve to be heard.

Practice projecting your voice from your diaphragm rather than your throat.

Imagine you’re speaking to someone at the back of the room, even in small conversations.

This doesn’t mean shouting—just using enough volume to be easily understood.

7. Over-Explaining and Justifying Your Decisions

Do you feel the need to provide a lengthy backstory for every choice you make?

Over-explaining can make you appear insecure about your decisions, as if you need approval from everyone around you.

Confident people state their choices simply and move on.

They trust their judgment and don’t feel compelled to convince others of their reasoning.

Try giving short, direct answers without launching into elaborate justifications.

If someone needs more information, they’ll ask. This approach shows you’re comfortable with your decisions and don’t require constant validation.

Remember, “no” is a complete sentence, and so is “yes.”

8. Fidgeting and Nervous Habits

Twirling your hair, tapping your pen, or constantly adjusting your clothing broadcasts nervous energy to everyone watching.

These small movements distract from your message and signal discomfort.

While some fidgeting is normal, excessive movements can make you appear anxious or unprepared.

Stillness and controlled gestures, on the other hand, convey composure and control.

Become aware of your fidget triggers—maybe you twist your ring when stressed or bounce your leg during presentations.

Once you identify these habits, you can consciously redirect that energy.

Try keeping your hands loosely clasped or resting naturally, and plant your feet firmly on the ground.

9. Seeking Constant Validation from Others

Constantly asking “Is this okay?” or “What do you think?” before making decisions reveals that you don’t trust your own judgment.

While seeking input can be valuable, excessive validation-seeking undermines your authority.

Confident women consult others when appropriate but ultimately trust themselves to make good choices.

They know their opinions matter and don’t need constant reassurance.

Start making small decisions independently and notice how empowering it feels.

Build your confidence muscle by trusting your instincts on minor matters first, then gradually tackle bigger choices.

You’ll discover that your judgment is often spot-on, and even mistakes become valuable learning experiences.

10. Dressing Inappropriately for the Situation

Showing up underdressed or overdressed for an event can make you feel out of place and self-conscious.

When your clothing doesn’t match the occasion, you spend mental energy worrying about your appearance instead of focusing on the interaction.

Confident dressing means understanding the context and choosing outfits that make you feel comfortable and appropriate.

It’s not about expensive clothes—it’s about being thoughtfully prepared.

Research dress codes beforehand and choose clothes that fit well and make you feel like your best self.

When you know you look appropriate for the situation, you can focus entirely on being present and engaged.

11. Negative Self-Talk in Front of Others

Putting yourself down in conversation—”I’m so stupid,” “I’m terrible at this,” or “I look awful today”—teaches others how to view you.

If you don’t respect yourself, why should anyone else?

This habit often stems from trying to be relatable or beat others to the punch, but it backfires badly.

Confident people acknowledge areas for growth without harsh self-criticism.

Catch yourself when negative self-talk starts and reframe it. Instead of “I’m so bad at math,” try “Math challenges me, but I’m working on it.”

This shift acknowledges reality without self-deprecation and shows you’re capable of growth.

Others will mirror the respect you show yourself.