MomSkoop
Have you ever met someone who seemed almost too perfect, like they understood you instantly?
Narcissists are skilled at reading people and copying behaviors to make themselves appear trustworthy and relatable. They use these tactics to get close to you, often before revealing their true intentions.
Understanding these copied behaviors can help you spot manipulation early and protect yourself from emotional harm.
1. Mirroring Your Interests and Hobbies
Suddenly, they love everything you love. If you mention rock climbing, they claim it’s been their passion for years. When you talk about your favorite band, they insist they’ve been a fan forever.
This mirroring happens fast and feels almost magical at first. You think you’ve found your perfect match or best friend. But genuine shared interests develop naturally over time through real experiences.
Narcissists study your reactions carefully. They note what makes your eyes light up and pretend those same things excite them too. This creates a false sense of connection that makes you lower your guard and trust them more quickly than you should.
2. Adopting Your Values or Beliefs
Your core values suddenly become their core values too. Whether you care deeply about environmental issues, spirituality, or social justice, they’ll echo your beliefs word for word. They might even start attending events or activities related to causes you support.
This feels incredibly validating at first. Someone finally gets what matters most to you! But watch for inconsistencies in their actions. Do they actually volunteer, or just talk about it?
Real values show up in daily choices and long-term commitments. Narcissists adopt your beliefs like costumes they can change whenever it suits them. Once they’ve gained your trust, those shared values often disappear completely.
3. Using the Same Language, Phrases, or Slang
Pay attention when someone starts using your exact words and expressions. Narcissists are linguistic chameleons who pick up on your unique way of speaking. That funny phrase you always use? They’ll start saying it constantly.
Your texting style, favorite expressions, even your sense of humor gets copied. This creates an eerie feeling of familiarity that draws you in. Language is deeply personal, so when someone speaks like you, it feels like you’ve known them forever.
Everyone picks up phrases from friends occasionally, but narcissists do this deliberately and rapidly. They’re building a verbal bridge to make you feel understood and connected before you realize it’s all strategic.
4. Mimicking Your Body Language, Gestures, and Tone of Voice
Watch how they move when they’re around you. Narcissists mirror your physical presence like a reflection in water. If you lean forward, they lean forward. When you cross your legs, they do the same within seconds.
This technique is called mirroring, and it’s powerful. Our brains are wired to trust people who move like us because it signals similarity and safety. Even your tone of voice gets copied—speak softly, and they’ll match your volume.
Some mirroring happens naturally in genuine relationships, but narcissists take it to an extreme. They study your every move and gesture, creating an uncomfortable feeling of being shadowed by your own reflection.
5. Fast-Forming a Close Bond and Declaring You’re So Alike
Within days or even hours, they’re calling you their soulmate or best friend. Phrases like “We’re exactly the same!” or “I’ve never met anyone who gets me like you do” come rushing out. This rapid bonding feels exciting and special.
Healthy relationships build gradually through shared experiences and tested trust. Narcissists skip all those steps and jump straight to intimacy. This technique is called love-bombing or friendship-bombing, and it’s designed to overwhelm your natural caution.
When someone pushes for closeness too quickly, your instincts might whisper warnings. Listen to that voice. Genuine connections don’t require constant declarations of how similar you are—they simply unfold naturally over time.
6. Claiming or Showing Interest in Your Goals, Dreams, or Achievements
Tell them about your dream to open a bakery, and suddenly they’ve always wanted to do exactly that. Share your goal of running a marathon, and they’ll claim they’re training too. Your achievements become conversation topics they won’t stop discussing.
This attention feels wonderful initially. Finally, someone who truly supports your ambitions! But notice if they actually help or just talk. Do they offer concrete support, or only enthusiastic words?
Narcissists use your dreams as hooks to reel you in. They’ll celebrate your successes loudly at first, but eventually, they may undermine or compete with you. Your goals matter to them only as tools for manipulation.
7. Adopting Your Style, Appearance, or Manner of Dress
Your fashion sense suddenly has a twin. They start dressing like you, styling their hair similarly, even choosing the same accessories. If you wear vintage band tees, they’ll show up in one next week. Love bold lipstick? They’ll start wearing the same shade.
Style is personal expression, so when someone copies yours, it can feel flattering. But there’s a difference between inspiration and imitation. Narcissists don’t just borrow ideas—they clone your entire aesthetic.
This behavior goes beyond normal influence between friends. It’s a calculated move to blur the boundaries between you and them, making you feel like you’re looking at a kindred spirit when you’re actually looking at a calculated copy.
8. Reflecting Your Emotional Reactions
You share something sad, and tears instantly well up in their eyes. Express excitement, and they match your energy perfectly. Narcissists become emotional mirrors, reflecting whatever feelings you display. This seems like deep empathy at first glance.
True empathy involves genuine emotional response and understanding. What narcissists do is different—it’s emotional mimicry without real feeling behind it. They’re performing empathy rather than experiencing it.
Notice if their emotional responses feel slightly off or exaggerated. Do they seem to be watching your reaction while having their own? Authentic emotion flows naturally, but copied emotion often feels like watching someone act in a play where you’re the only audience member.
9. Showing Exaggerated Agreement or Admiration for You
Every opinion you share is brilliant. Every idea you have is genius. They agree with absolutely everything you say, often with theatrical enthusiasm. “You’re so right!” and “That’s exactly what I think!” become their constant refrains.
While agreement feels good, constant validation without any pushback is suspicious. Healthy relationships include respectful disagreement and different perspectives. Nobody agrees with another person about everything unless they’re pretending.
Narcissists use excessive agreement to make you feel valued and understood. This lowers your defenses and makes you more likely to trust them completely. Later, when they’ve secured their position in your life, those compliments often turn into criticism.
10. Copying Your Stories or Experiences
You share a meaningful childhood memory, and suddenly they have an almost identical experience. Tell a funny story about your vacation, and they’ll claim something remarkably similar happened to them. These parallel experiences pile up suspiciously fast.
Sometimes they’ll even retell your stories as their own to other people. You might hear your own words coming out of their mouth, with themselves as the main character. This feels violating and confusing when you notice it happening.
Shared experiences create bonds, which is exactly why narcissists fake them. They’re stealing your life stories to manufacture connection and make themselves seem more interesting and relatable than they actually are to you.
11. Imitating Your Social Circle, Friends, or Group Behaviors
They don’t just copy you—they study and imitate your entire social world. Your friend group’s inside jokes become their jokes. The way your friends interact becomes their interaction style. They seamlessly blend into your social circles like they’ve always belonged there.
This infiltration happens quickly and completely. Before you know it, they’re texting your friends independently and showing up at group events. They adopt the group’s culture, humor, and dynamics with unsettling ease.
Narcissists do this to strengthen their position in your life and gain multiple sources of validation. By embedding themselves in your social network, they make themselves harder to remove and gain information they can use later for manipulation.
12. Using Shared Vulnerabilities or Insecurities Against You
You opened up about your deepest fears and insecurities, trusting them completely. They listened with such understanding and even shared similar vulnerabilities. But later, those same private confessions become weapons used against you during arguments or to control your behavior.
That insecurity you mentioned about your appearance? They’ll make subtle comments about it. The childhood trauma you shared? They’ll reference it to explain away your reasonable reactions to their bad behavior.
This betrayal cuts deepest because you trusted them with your most tender parts. Narcissists collect your vulnerabilities like ammunition, storing them away until they need leverage. What seemed like intimate bonding was actually reconnaissance for future manipulation and control over you.