MomSkoop
Ever feel like someone in your life makes you question everything about yourself? Toxic people have a way of twisting words to make you feel small, confused, or wrong even when you’re not. They use certain phrases over and over to chip away at your confidence and keep you under their control. Recognizing these manipulative statements is the first step to protecting your self-worth and mental health.
1. You’re Too Sensitive
When someone tells you this, they’re basically saying your feelings don’t matter. It’s a classic move to make you think the problem is YOU, not their hurtful behavior. Instead of apologizing or listening, they flip the blame onto you.
This phrase shuts down conversations before they even start. You end up feeling embarrassed for being upset, which is exactly what they want. Over time, you might stop sharing your feelings altogether because you’re afraid of being called dramatic.
Healthy people validate emotions, even if they don’t fully understand them. Trust your gut when something bothers you.
2. I Never Said That
Gaslighting at its finest. This phrase makes you question your own memory and sanity. They’ll deny saying something hurtful even when you clearly remember it, making you feel like you’re losing your mind.
The goal here is to rewrite history in their favor. By constantly denying their words or actions, they avoid accountability completely. You start doubting yourself and wondering if maybe you DID misunderstand or imagine things.
Keep a journal if you need to. Your memories are valid, and you’re not crazy for remembering what actually happened. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.
3. You’re Overreacting
Similar to calling you sensitive, this phrase minimizes your legitimate reactions. Maybe you’re upset about something genuinely hurtful, but they make it sound like you’re being ridiculous. It’s a quick way to dodge responsibility.
Toxic people use this to control how you express yourself. Soon you’re second-guessing every emotion, wondering if you have the right to feel hurt or angry. Spoiler alert: you absolutely do.
Your reactions are information about your boundaries and values. If something feels wrong, it probably is. Don’t let anyone talk you out of trusting yourself or standing up for what matters.
4. Everyone Else Thinks You’re Wrong
This is called triangulation, where they bring invisible others into the argument to make you feel outnumbered. They might say your friends, family, or coworkers all agree with them, even if that’s completely made up.
The tactic works because humans naturally want to belong. When you think everyone’s against you, you’re more likely to cave and agree just to avoid conflict. But here’s the truth: they’re probably lying about what others think.
Real friends communicate directly, not through messengers. If someone claims everyone agrees with them, ask those people yourself. You’ll likely discover a very different story than what you’ve been told.
5. You Always Do This
Words like always and never are red flags in arguments. They exaggerate your behavior to paint you as the constant problem. Maybe you forgot something once, but suddenly you ALWAYS mess up according to them.
This sweeping generalization makes it impossible to defend yourself. How can you argue against always? It dismisses any good things you’ve done and focuses only on mistakes. You end up feeling like a failure no matter what.
Healthy communication focuses on specific situations, not character attacks. When someone uses these extreme words, they’re more interested in winning than understanding. Remember your worth isn’t defined by their distorted view.
6. I Was Just Joking
After saying something cruel, they slap on this excuse like a band-aid. Suddenly YOU’RE the problem for not having a sense of humor. But real jokes are funny to everyone involved, not just the person making them.
This phrase lets them insult you without consequences. If you get upset, you’re too sensitive. If you stay quiet, they keep doing it. Either way, they win and you feel worse about yourself.
Trust your feelings over their excuses. If a joke hurts, it’s not a joke—it’s just mean. You have every right to call out disguised insults, and anyone who respects you will apologize instead of doubling down.
7. You’re Remembering It Wrong
Another gaslighting favorite. They’ll insist you’ve got the facts mixed up, even about things you clearly remember. This constant correction makes you doubt your own brain and rely on their version of events instead.
Over time, this erodes your confidence in your own perceptions. You might start asking them to confirm basic facts or apologizing for things you didn’t do. That’s exactly the power dynamic they want.
Your memory isn’t perfect, but it’s not constantly wrong either. If someone frequently tells you you’re remembering incorrectly, that’s a major warning sign. Consider writing things down or talking to trusted friends about situations to reality-check.
8. If You Really Loved Me
Emotional blackmail wrapped in a pretty bow. This phrase pressures you to prove your love by doing whatever they want. It turns affection into a transaction where you constantly have to demonstrate your feelings through compliance.
Healthy relationships don’t require constant proof of love. This statement makes you feel guilty for having boundaries or saying no. Before you know it, you’re doing things that make you uncomfortable just to avoid being accused of not caring enough.
Real love respects boundaries and doesn’t demand sacrifices. If someone questions your feelings every time you disagree, that’s manipulation. You can love someone deeply and still prioritize your own wellbeing and values.
9. You’re Just Like Your Mother/Father
This low blow attacks your identity by comparing you to a parent, usually highlighting negative traits. It’s designed to hit where it hurts most because family relationships are complicated and deeply personal.
The comparison shuts down productive conversation and makes things personal. Instead of addressing the actual issue, they’re now attacking your character and family. You end up defending yourself against something irrelevant to the original problem.
Comparisons like this have no place in respectful disagreements. They’re meant to wound, not resolve. When someone goes for these personal attacks, it shows they’ve run out of valid points and are just trying to hurt you instead.
10. No One Else Would Put Up With You
This terrifying statement is designed to make you feel worthless and trapped. They want you to believe they’re doing you a favor by staying, and that you should be grateful no matter how badly they treat you.
It’s a form of isolation that keeps you from leaving. If you believe no one else could love you, you’ll tolerate unacceptable behavior. Your self-esteem plummets, and they gain complete control over the relationship.
Here’s the truth: there are billions of people in the world, and many would appreciate you exactly as you are. This statement says everything about their insecurity and nothing about your worth. You deserve respect and kindness, period.
11. You’re Crazy
Perhaps the ultimate gaslighting phrase. Labeling you as crazy dismisses everything you say or feel as invalid. It’s a conversation-ender that paints you as irrational and them as the reasonable one.
This accusation is particularly damaging because mental health stigma runs deep. You might genuinely start wondering if something’s wrong with you. Meanwhile, they avoid addressing legitimate concerns you’ve raised about their behavior.
Having strong feelings or calling out bad behavior doesn’t make you crazy. It makes you human. If someone frequently questions your sanity instead of listening to your concerns, that relationship is toxic. Your perceptions and feelings are real and deserve to be heard.
12. You Should Be Grateful
Gratitude becomes a weapon when someone uses it to silence complaints. Yes, maybe they did something nice, but that doesn’t mean you can’t address problems. This phrase suggests you’re ungrateful for having any negative feelings or needs.
Toxic people keep score and remind you of every favor they’ve done. They want you to feel indebted so you’ll accept poor treatment without protest. Gratitude becomes a chain instead of a genuine feeling.
You can appreciate good things someone does while still expecting basic respect. Kindness shouldn’t come with strings attached or be used to excuse hurtful behavior. Healthy relationships have room for both gratitude AND honest conversations about problems that need fixing.