MomSkoop
Have you ever felt like someone was pulling your strings without you even realizing it? Manipulation happens all around us, from workplaces to friendships, and most people miss the warning signs completely.
Experts who study human behavior have identified sneaky tactics that manipulators use to control others while staying under the radar. Understanding these hidden tricks can help you protect yourself and recognize when someone is trying to influence you unfairly.
1. Gaslighting Through Small Denials
Someone tells you they never said something, even though you clearly remember the conversation.
This confusing tactic makes you question your own memory and perception of reality.
Manipulators use tiny denials repeatedly until you start doubting yourself on bigger issues.
They might say things like “that never happened” or “you’re remembering it wrong” with complete confidence.
Over time, this erodes your trust in your own judgment.
The key is recognizing patterns rather than isolated incidents.
If someone frequently contradicts your memory, keep notes or recordings when possible.
Trust your experiences and feelings.
Healthy relationships involve acknowledging different perspectives, not erasing your version of events entirely.
Your reality matters just as much as theirs does.
2. Strategic Silence as Punishment
Ever been ignored by someone who suddenly goes completely silent after a disagreement?
This calculated withdrawal is called the silent treatment, and it’s designed to make you feel anxious and guilty.
The manipulator withholds communication to punish you and force you to apologize, even when you did nothing wrong.
It creates emotional distress that pushes you to fix things on their terms.
Unlike healthy space-taking after conflicts, this silence comes without explanation or timeline.
You’re left guessing what you did and how to make it right.
Manipulators know this uncertainty gives them power and control.
Recognizing this pattern means understanding that mature people communicate their needs.
They don’t leave you hanging as emotional leverage.
Silence should never be weaponized in relationships.
3. Love Bombing Before Commitment
Picture someone showering you with excessive attention, gifts, and compliments right from the start.
It feels amazing at first, like you’ve found someone who truly gets you.
But this overwhelming affection, called love bombing, is actually a manipulation strategy to create quick emotional dependency.
The person rushes intimacy and makes grand promises unusually fast.
They want you attached before showing their true colors.
Once you’re hooked emotionally, they gradually withdraw that intense attention, leaving you confused and desperate to get it back.
You’ll do almost anything to return to those early magical feelings.
Genuine affection develops steadily over time, not explosively overnight.
Healthy relationships build trust gradually.
Be cautious of anyone who seems too perfect too quickly.
4. Playing the Victim Constantly
Some manipulators always position themselves as the injured party, no matter what actually happened.
They twist every situation so they’re suffering and you’re somehow responsible for their pain.
This victim mentality makes you feel guilty and obligated to fix their problems or excuse their bad behavior.
When you try addressing your own concerns, they flip the script and make it about their hurt feelings instead.
Your legitimate complaints get buried under their dramatic suffering.
They might cry, act helpless, or bring up past hardships to deflect accountability.
This tactic prevents honest conversations about their actions.
You end up comforting them when they should be apologizing to you.
Real victims don’t constantly broadcast their suffering to avoid responsibility.
Notice who never takes ownership.
5. Triangulation With Third Parties
A manipulator brings other people into your conflicts instead of talking directly with you.
They’ll tell mutual friends their version of events, creating allies before you even know there’s a problem.
This triangulation makes you feel isolated and ganged up on.
Suddenly, it’s not just one person’s opinion against yours but multiple people questioning your behavior.
The manipulator might say things like “everyone thinks you’re being unreasonable” or “I talked to Sarah and she agrees with me.”
This manufactured consensus pressures you to comply.
Healthy people address issues privately first.
They don’t recruit audiences to strengthen their position.
When someone constantly involves others in your personal business, it’s a red flag.
Direct communication should always come first.
6. Moving Goalposts and Changing Standards
You work hard to meet someone’s expectations, but once you achieve them, they suddenly change the requirements.
This frustrating tactic keeps you constantly striving for approval you’ll never actually receive.
Manipulators shift their standards to maintain control and keep you feeling inadequate.
Maybe your boss praised efficiency last month but now criticizes you for not being thorough enough.
Or a partner who wanted more quality time now complains you’re too clingy.
The actual goal isn’t improvement but keeping you off-balance and eager to please.
You can never win because winning isn’t the point.
Control is.
Reasonable people maintain consistent expectations and acknowledge when you’ve met them.
Notice patterns of constantly shifting demands that leave you perpetually falling short.
7. Intermittent Reinforcement Patterns
Did you know that unpredictable rewards are more addictive than consistent ones?
Manipulators use this psychological principle by being sometimes wonderful and sometimes terrible, with no clear pattern.
You never know which version of them you’ll get.
This inconsistency keeps you hooked, always hoping for the good version to return.
It’s like a slot machine that occasionally pays out, making you keep pulling the lever.
One day they’re affectionate and attentive, the next cold and dismissive.
Your brain becomes wired to chase those positive moments.
You tolerate increasingly bad behavior because you remember how good it sometimes feels.
Healthy relationships offer stability and predictability, not emotional roller coasters.
Consistency matters more than occasional highs.
8. Guilt-Tripping Through Sacrifice Stories
Manipulators constantly remind you of everything they’ve done for you, keeping a mental scorecard of their generosity.
They bring up past favors whenever you set boundaries or ask for something.
This creates artificial debt that you feel obligated to repay forever.
They might say things like “after everything I’ve done for you” or “I gave up so much and this is how you thank me.”
These guilt-trips make you feel selfish for having your own needs.
True generosity doesn’t come with strings attached or future invoices.
People who genuinely care don’t weaponize their kindness.
They give freely without expecting eternal gratitude or compliance.
If someone constantly reminds you of their sacrifices, they’re manipulating your sense of obligation.
Genuine giving feels different.
9. Subtle Insults Disguised as Jokes
Someone makes a cutting remark about your appearance, intelligence, or choices, then quickly adds “just kidding” when you react.
These backhanded comments, called negging, are designed to lower your self-esteem while maintaining plausible deniability.
If you object, they act like you’re too sensitive or can’t take a joke.
But genuine humor doesn’t leave you feeling small or hurt.
Manipulators use this tactic to keep you insecure and seeking their approval.
They criticize you under the guise of teasing or honesty.
Pay attention to how you feel after their “jokes.”
Real friends make you feel good about yourself.
Their humor lifts you up rather than tears you down.
Trust your gut when humor feels like hidden hostility.
10. Withholding Information Strategically
Knowledge is power, and manipulators know it.
They deliberately keep you in the dark about important information that affects you directly.
By controlling what you know, they control your decisions and keep you dependent on them.
Maybe a coworker doesn’t tell you about a meeting that impacts your project, or a partner hides financial information.
When problems arise from your lack of knowledge, they blame you for not knowing.
This creates a cycle where you’re always one step behind and reliant on their information.
They position themselves as gatekeepers of crucial details.
Transparent people share relevant information freely.
They want you informed and empowered, not confused and dependent.
Notice who keeps you guessing unnecessarily.