MomSkoop
Have you ever felt like someone just isn’t interested in being your friend, even though they act polite? Sometimes people send signals that they’re not really looking to build a genuine friendship with you.
Recognizing these signs can save you time and emotional energy, helping you focus on relationships that truly matter. Here are eleven behaviors that make it pretty clear someone isn’t trying to be friends.
1. They Cancel Plans Without Trying to Reschedule
When someone constantly backs out of plans and never suggests another time to hang out, it’s a red flag.
Real friends want to spend time with you, so they’ll make an effort to find another day that works.
If they keep canceling and leaving things open-ended, they’re probably not that interested.
Pay attention to patterns rather than one-time emergencies.
Life happens, and sometimes plans fall through for legitimate reasons.
But when it becomes a habit without any attempt to make it up to you, that’s when you know they’re not prioritizing your friendship.
It’s okay to step back from people who treat your time as unimportant.
2. Conversations Feel Flat and Rushed
Talking with them feels like pulling teeth.
Their answers are short, they don’t ask follow-up questions, and they seem eager to end the conversation quickly.
Genuine friends engage with what you’re saying and show curiosity about your life.
When someone gives you one-word responses or constantly checks their phone while you’re talking, they’re signaling disinterest.
Conversations should flow naturally, with both people contributing and feeling heard.
If every chat feels awkward or forced, that’s your cue that this person isn’t invested in getting to know you better.
Trust your gut when something feels off about how someone communicates with you.
3. They Rarely Respond to Your Messages
You send texts, and they take days to reply or sometimes don’t respond at all.
Everyone gets busy, but people make time for what matters to them.
If someone consistently leaves you on read or takes forever to get back to you, they’re showing where you rank on their priority list.
Friends who care will find a moment to shoot you a quick message, even if it’s just to say they’re swamped and will catch up later.
When someone repeatedly ignores your attempts to connect, believe what their actions are telling you.
You deserve friends who actually want to talk to you and make you feel valued, not invisible.
4. The Friendship Revolves Around Them
Every conversation somehow circles back to their problems, achievements, or interests.
When you try to share something about your own life, they quickly change the subject or give minimal acknowledgment before talking about themselves again.
Healthy friendships involve give and take, where both people feel heard and supported.
If someone only reaches out when they need something or want to vent, that’s not a friendship—it’s a one-sided arrangement.
Notice whether they remember details about your life or ask how things turned out with situations you mentioned.
Real friends celebrate your wins and comfort you during tough times, not just use you as their personal audience.
5. You’re Always the One Reaching Out First
Think about the last few times you hung out or chatted.
Who initiated contact?
If you’re always the one sending the first text, making plans, or checking in, that imbalance speaks volumes.
Friendship shouldn’t feel like you’re chasing someone who’s running away.
When you stop reaching out and they never notice or follow up, you have your answer about how much you mean to them.
It’s exhausting to carry the entire weight of a relationship on your shoulders.
You deserve people who meet you halfway and show they genuinely want you in their lives by making an effort too.
6. You Put in Far More Effort Than They Do
You remember their birthday, bring them coffee when they’re stressed, and always show up when they need support.
Meanwhile, they forget important things about your life and rarely go out of their way for you.
This imbalance creates resentment and leaves you feeling undervalued.
Healthy friendships don’t require perfect equality every single day, but over time, the effort should balance out.
When you’re constantly giving and they’re constantly taking, it’s not a friendship—it’s you being used.
Notice whether they remember things that matter to you or if they make thoughtful gestures without being asked.
You deserve reciprocity in your relationships.
7. They Don’t Really Listen When You Talk
Their eyes glaze over when you share something important.
They interrupt you mid-sentence or immediately relate everything back to their own experiences without acknowledging your feelings.
Active listening is a cornerstone of real friendship.
When someone genuinely cares, they ask questions, remember details, and show empathy for what you’re going through.
If you feel like you’re talking to a wall or that your words disappear into thin air, that person isn’t truly present with you.
Notice whether they follow up on things you’ve mentioned or if they seem to forget conversations entirely.
You deserve friends who actually hear you and make you feel seen.
8. They’re Always Too Busy for You
Somehow they never have time to hang out with you, yet their social media shows them constantly out with other people.
Everyone has packed schedules, but people prioritize what matters to them.
If someone is perpetually unavailable for you specifically, they’re making a choice about where you fit in their life.
When weeks turn into months of hearing how busy they are, it’s not about their schedule—it’s about their interest level.
Real friends carve out time, even if it’s just a quick coffee or phone call.
Don’t waste energy on someone who treats you like an afterthought when their calendar mysteriously opens up for everyone else.
9. Their Stories Don’t Quite Add Up
You start noticing inconsistencies in what they tell you.
They claim to be somewhere, but evidence suggests otherwise.
They make excuses that don’t match up with reality.
Honesty is fundamental to any friendship, and when someone feels the need to lie to you, they’re creating distance rather than connection.
Maybe they’re hiding that they’re hanging out with other people or fabricating reasons they can’t see you.
Whatever the case, dishonesty signals that they don’t respect you enough to be truthful.
Trust your instincts when something feels off about someone’s explanations.
Genuine friends don’t need to maintain a web of lies.
10. Their Friendliness Feels Polite, Not Warm
They’re never outright rude, but something feels cold about their interactions with you.
Their smiles seem forced, their laughter sounds hollow, and their kindness feels obligatory rather than genuine.
There’s a difference between someone being professionally courteous and someone who actually likes you.
You can usually sense when warmth is missing from how someone treats you.
They might go through the motions of friendship without any real emotion behind it.
This surface-level pleasantness can be confusing because they’re not doing anything obviously wrong, yet you still feel kept at arm’s length.
Trust that feeling—authentic friendship has a warmth that polite acquaintanceship lacks.
11. Their Advice Feels Condescending or Unwanted
When you share a problem, they respond with patronizing suggestions or unsolicited lectures rather than support.
Their tone implies they think they’re better than you or that your struggles are due to your own shortcomings.
Good friends offer advice when asked and do so with kindness and respect.
If someone consistently makes you feel small or stupid when you’re vulnerable with them, they’re not acting like a friend.
Notice whether their words lift you up or tear you down.
Real friends validate your feelings and help you problem-solve without making you feel inferior.
You don’t need people in your life who disguise judgment as helpfulness.