MomSkoop
Dealing with someone who constantly twists your words can feel exhausting and confusing.
Narcissists often use manipulation tactics to shift blame, deny reality, or make you question yourself.
Learning the right phrases to use in these moments helps you stay grounded and protect your emotional well-being while setting clear boundaries.
1. I’m not going to argue about my reality
Standing up for your own truth becomes essential when someone keeps denying what you experienced.
This phrase works like a shield against gaslighting, which happens when someone tries making you doubt your own memory or perception.
You’re simply stating that your experience belongs to you alone.
Using this boundary statement stops endless debates about what really happened.
Narcissists often want to argue until you give up or agree with their version of events.
By refusing to engage in that back-and-forth, you’re taking back your power.
Remember that your reality doesn’t need anyone else’s approval to be valid.
This response shows maturity and self-respect while ending circular arguments that go nowhere productive.
2. My feelings are valid, even if you disagree
Emotions don’t require permission or agreement from others to exist.
When a narcissist dismisses how you feel, they’re trying to control the narrative and make their perspective the only one that matters.
This statement reminds both of you that feelings are personal experiences, not debatable facts.
Many people struggle with owning their emotions, especially after repeated invalidation.
Speaking this truth out loud reinforces your right to feel whatever comes up naturally.
It’s not about convincing the other person—it’s about honoring yourself.
Your emotional responses tell you important information about your needs and boundaries.
Protecting that inner wisdom helps you maintain mental clarity even when someone actively works against it.
3. Please speak to me respectfully
Everyone deserves basic courtesy during conversations, regardless of disagreements or tension.
Narcissists sometimes use insults, sarcasm, or condescending tones to throw you off balance and avoid accountability.
Calling out disrespectful communication puts the focus exactly where it belongs.
This simple request doesn’t attack or accuse—it just names the problem clearly.
You’re not asking for special treatment, just common decency that should exist in any healthy interaction.
Most people will adjust their tone when respectfully reminded.
If someone refuses to speak kindly after you’ve asked directly, that tells you everything about their intentions.
You then have valuable information to decide whether continuing the conversation serves any purpose.
4. I won’t take responsibility for your choices
Blame-shifting happens frequently with narcissistic personalities who avoid owning their actions.
They might suggest that you caused their bad behavior or that their decisions were somehow your fault.
This phrase draws a clear line between what belongs to you and what belongs to them.
Adults make their own choices, and those choices come with natural consequences.
When someone tries handing you responsibility for their mistakes, you’re allowed to hand it right back.
Accepting false blame damages your self-esteem over time.
Maintaining this boundary protects your mental health and prevents manipulation.
You can care about someone without carrying the weight of their poor decisions on your shoulders.
5. Let’s focus on facts, not insults
Arguments often derail when personal attacks replace actual discussion about the issue at hand.
Narcissists use insults strategically to distract from uncomfortable truths or avoid addressing real problems.
Redirecting to facts keeps everyone accountable and prevents emotional chaos.
This response works especially well in situations where decisions need making or problems require solving.
By insisting on factual discussion, you remove the emotional manipulation from the equation.
Facts can be verified, checked, and agreed upon.
You’re not being cold or unfeeling—you’re being practical and protecting yourself from abuse.
Healthy conversations can include emotions without descending into name-calling or character assassination.
6. Setting boundaries is not selfish
Narcissists often accuse you of being selfish when you establish limits they don’t like.
This manipulation tactic plays on many people’s fear of seeming mean or uncaring.
The truth is that boundaries actually make relationships healthier by clarifying expectations and protecting everyone involved.
Taking care of your own needs allows you to show up better for others.
You can’t pour from an empty cup, as the saying goes.
When you protect your time, energy, and emotional space, you’re practicing self-respect, not selfishness.
This statement educates while also standing firm in your decision.
You’re not asking permission to have boundaries—you’re simply correcting a false narrative about what boundaries actually mean.
7. We can continue this conversation when it stays calm
Productive conversations require both people to maintain reasonable emotional control.
When discussions turn into screaming matches or involve threatening behavior, nothing gets resolved.
This phrase gives the other person a chance to reset while protecting you from verbal abuse.
You’re not ending the conversation permanently—you’re postponing it until conditions improve.
This distinction matters because it shows willingness to communicate while refusing to accept mistreatment.
Healthy conflict resolution happens when both parties feel safe enough to be honest.
Walking away from escalating situations demonstrates strength, not weakness.
You’re teaching others how to treat you by refusing to participate in destructive communication patterns.
8. That statement is hurtful and not okay with me
Naming hurtful behavior directly prevents it from hiding in ambiguity.
Narcissists sometimes claim they were joking or that you’re too sensitive when called out for cruel comments.
This response leaves no room for that deflection by clearly labeling the statement as harmful.
You’re allowed to identify what hurts you without needing to justify or explain those feelings extensively.
Sometimes people genuinely don’t realize their words cause pain, and speaking up gives them information.
Other times, they know exactly what they’re doing.
Either way, your job is simply to name the problem and state your boundary.
What the other person does with that information tells you whether they respect you or not.
9. I’m not engaging in blame or guilt
Guilt trips and blame games serve no constructive purpose in relationships.
These tactics manipulate you into compliance without addressing actual problems or building understanding.
When you recognize these patterns, refusing to participate breaks the cycle immediately.
This phrase works as both a statement and a boundary.
You’re announcing that you see the manipulation happening and won’t be controlled by it.
Narcissists rely on guilt working as their primary tool, so removing that weapon changes everything.
Healthy relationships involve mutual respect and shared responsibility, not constant finger-pointing.
You can acknowledge mistakes without accepting blame for things outside your control or feeling guilty for reasonable choices.
10. I’m ending this conversation now
Sometimes the healthiest choice involves simply walking away.
When all other boundaries have been tested or ignored, ending the conversation protects your well-being.
This isn’t rude—it’s recognizing that continued interaction will only cause more harm without any benefit.
You don’t need permission to leave conversations that feel abusive, circular, or pointless.
This final statement gives clear notice of your intention while taking immediate action.
Following through is crucial because empty threats teach others they can keep pushing.
Leaving might feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you’ve been conditioned to always stay and work things out.
But some situations don’t improve with more talking—they improve with space and distance.