MomSkoop
Most of us have worked with someone who makes the office feel tense, confusing, or unfair. Sometimes that person is just having a rough week, but other times their actions follow a pattern that points to narcissistic traits.
Learning to spot these habits can help you protect your energy, your work, and your peace of mind. Here are the signs worth watching for, plus simple ways to handle them.
1. Grabbing the Spotlight for Team Wins
You stay late for a week building a report, and during the big meeting, a coworker presents it like it was all their idea.
Your name never comes up once.
That sinking feeling is a common experience for people who work near someone with narcissistic traits.
Folks like this often treat team success as a personal trophy.
They talk loudly about what they did while quietly skipping over everyone else who helped.
To protect yourself, keep a simple record of your contributions.
Send short follow-up emails after meetings that summarize who handled which tasks.
When you share updates with your manager, mention your role clearly and calmly.
A paper trail speaks louder than any bragging.
2. Pointing Fingers When Things Go Wrong
Mistakes happen to everyone, even the best workers on the planet.
Most people say sorry, fix the problem, and move on.
Someone with narcissistic tendencies, though, will rarely say the words “my fault.”
Instead, they shift blame to a teammate, a junior employee, or even the boss.
A missed deadline becomes the result of slow coworkers.
A failed project turns into a story about bad leadership.
So what can you do?
Stick to facts.
Keep written notes about task assignments and timelines, and save important emails.
If blame lands on you unfairly, respond with calm details instead of emotion.
Clear evidence makes it much harder for someone to rewrite the story, and it shows others that you take responsibility seriously.
3. Exploding Over Simple Feedback
“Maybe we could tweak this slide a little?” For most people, that sentence is no big deal.
For a coworker with narcissistic traits, it can feel like a full-blown attack.
Even kind, helpful feedback might set off defensiveness, anger, or harsh personal comments.
Some people even hold a grudge and try to get back at whoever spoke up.
That reaction usually comes from a fragile sense of self hiding under a confident surface.
When you need to give feedback, focus on the work, not the person.
Use phrases like “the report could include” instead of “you forgot.” Keep conversations short and, if possible, put suggestions in writing.
Bringing a manager into tricky talks can also keep things steady and fair.
4. Hungry for Endless Praise
Everybody enjoys a pat on the back now and then.
It feels great to hear “nice job” after hard work.
But for some people, praise is less like a treat and more like oxygen.
Coworkers with narcissistic traits often fish for compliments, steer conversations back to their wins, and need constant attention.
When someone else gets recognized, they may sulk, roll their eyes, or make snide remarks.
Fun fact: the word “narcissism” comes from a Greek myth about Narcissus, a young man who fell in love with his own reflection.
Handling this habit is simple but takes patience.
Offer honest praise when deserved, avoid feeding constant demands, and keep celebrating others.
Healthy teams share the spotlight.
5. Pulling Strings Behind the Scenes
Flattery one day, guilt trips the next.
Manipulative coworkers know exactly which buttons to push to get what they want.
Someone with narcissistic traits might shower you with compliments right before asking for a big favor.
Others share only part of the facts to steer decisions their way.
Some use emotional pressure, like acting hurt or disappointed, until you give in.
Spotting the pattern is your first defense.
Ask yourself, “Why am I suddenly feeling pressured?” Take time before agreeing to requests, and check facts with other sources.
It is perfectly okay to say, “Let me think about it.” Setting firm, friendly boundaries keeps you in control of your choices rather than someone else’s plans.
6. Brushing Off How Others Feel
Imagine telling a coworker that your parent is sick and you need help covering a shift.
Instead of concern, you get a shrug and a reminder about their own deadline.
Ouch.
A lack of empathy is one of the clearest signs of narcissistic traits.
These coworkers may ignore heavy workloads, personal struggles, or real worries whenever those things get in the way of their goals.
You cannot force someone to care, but you can protect yourself.
Lean on supportive teammates and managers who do show understanding.
Keep personal details private around people who brush them aside.
Focus your energy on relationships that feel balanced.
Your feelings are valid, even if one person treats them like an inconvenience.
7. Cutting Down Rising Stars
Talent should inspire a team, right?
For a coworker with narcissistic traits, a skilled colleague can feel more like a threat than a teammate.
Instead of learning from that person, they may criticize their work, leave them out of meetings, or quietly spread doubt about their abilities.
The goal is simple: keep anyone from shining brighter than they do.
If you notice this happening to you, keep doing excellent work and stay visible.
Share your results directly with leaders and build strong connections across departments.
If it is happening to someone else, speak up kindly in their favor.
A quick “I thought her idea was great” in a meeting can make a huge difference and weaken the undermining.
8. Living Above the Rules
Rules are for everyone else.
At least, that is how some coworkers seem to think.
A person with narcissistic traits may show up late, skip boring tasks, ignore company policies, or wave away other people’s opinions as if they do not matter.
They often act like they are smarter, more important, or simply too special for ordinary work.
This attitude can hurt team morale fast, because others end up picking up the slack.
Stay professional and do not copy the behavior.
If rule-breaking affects your work, describe the impact to your manager using clear examples.
Talk about results, like missed deadlines, rather than personality.
Leaders respond better to facts than to frustration.
9. Stirring Up Team Drama
“Did you hear what Jordan said about you?” Comments like that can turn a friendly office into a battlefield overnight.
People with narcissistic traits sometimes keep power by dividing teams.
They spread gossip, pick favorites, push unhealthy competition, and set coworkers against each other.
When everyone is busy arguing, nobody notices who started it.
Here is a practical tip: go to the source.
If you hear something hurtful, check with the person directly before believing it.
Avoid passing gossip along, even when it is juicy.
Teams that talk openly and support one another are much harder to split apart.
Building trust with your coworkers takes the power away from anyone trying to stir the pot.
10. Always Asking, Never Giving
Helping a coworker feels good, until you realize it only ever goes one way.
Some people treat kindness like a free service.
Coworkers with narcissistic tendencies often expect others to cover their shifts, finish their tasks, or bend schedules for them.
When you need a hand, though, they suddenly become very busy.
Learning to say no is a powerful skill.
You do not need a long excuse.
A simple “I can’t take that on today” works fine.
Track how often you help someone and whether they return the favor.
Generosity is a wonderful quality, but it should not leave you exhausted.
Healthy work relationships include give and take on both sides.
11. Two Faces, One Person
Sweet as pie with the boss, cold as ice with the intern.
Have you ever seen someone switch personalities depending on who is in the room?
This shift is a classic sign of narcissistic traits.
With senior leaders, the person seems charming, helpful, and respectful.
With people who have less power, they can be bossy, dismissive, or even hostile.
Because leaders only see the nice side, they may not believe complaints at first.
That makes documentation extra important.
Write down dates, details, and witnesses whenever poor treatment happens.
Talking with HR or a trusted manager becomes easier when you have specific examples.
Remember, how someone treats people with less authority tells you a lot about their true character.
12. Rewriting What Really Happened
“I never said that.” Three little words, yet they can leave you doubting your own memory.
Someone with narcissistic traits may twist facts, change the story of past events, make endless excuses, or flatly deny things they clearly said.
Protecting their image matters more to them than the truth.
Over time, this can make coworkers feel confused and unsure of themselves.
Your best tool here is writing things down.
After important conversations, send a quick summary email like, “Just confirming we agreed on Friday.” Save messages and meeting notes in a folder.
When facts are on record, you can trust yourself again and calmly point to what was actually said.
13. Payback for Speaking Up
Disagreeing with someone should lead to a conversation, not a punishment.
Sadly, that is not always how things go.
When challenged, a coworker or boss with narcissistic traits may strike back.
You might suddenly be left out of meetings, kept in the dark about important updates, given the silent treatment, or find rumors damaging your reputation.
Retaliation is serious, and many companies have rules against it.
Record every incident with dates and details.
Reach out to HR if the behavior continues or affects your job.
Build allies who know your work and character well.
Most importantly, remember that speaking up honestly is a strength.
You deserve a workplace where respectful disagreement is welcome, not punished.