MomSkoop
Narcissists have a reputation for being self-centered, and there’s good reason for that. While most people naturally help others without thinking twice, narcissists often avoid doing even the simplest acts of kindness. Understanding what they refuse to do can help you recognize these patterns in relationships and protect your emotional well-being.
1. Admit When They’re Wrong
Owning up to mistakes feels impossible for narcissists because it threatens their perfect self-image. They’ll twist facts, blame others, or completely deny reality rather than say those two powerful words: “I’m wrong.”
This refusal creates constant frustration for people around them. Arguments never truly get resolved because the narcissist won’t take responsibility.
Instead of healthy problem-solving, you’ll encounter deflection and excuses. Relationships suffer deeply when one person can never acknowledge their faults. Growth requires admitting errors, something narcissists simply won’t do for anyone, including themselves.
2. Celebrate Your Success
When something wonderful happens to you, narcissists struggle to share your joy genuinely. Your achievements make them feel threatened rather than proud. They might offer fake congratulations while secretly feeling jealous.
Some will immediately shift the conversation back to themselves. Others might downplay your accomplishment or point out how they did something similar but better.
True friends get excited when you win, but narcissists see your victories as their losses. They need to be the star of every show. Sharing the spotlight or celebrating someone else’s moment feels unbearable to them, so they simply refuse to do it.
3. Listen Without Making It About Themselves
Ever notice how some conversations always circle back to the same person? Narcissists can’t resist turning your story into their story.
You start sharing something important, and within minutes, they’ve hijacked the conversation. They’ll interrupt with their own experiences or completely ignore what you said.
Real listening means giving someone your full attention and caring about their feelings. Narcissists view conversations as competitions they must win. Your problems become opportunities for them to talk about themselves. This one-sided dynamic leaves you feeling unheard and unimportant, which is exactly how they prefer it to maintain control.
4. Apologize Sincerely
A genuine apology requires empathy, humility, and recognition of hurt caused. Narcissists lack the ability to deliver this kind of heartfelt sorry.
When forced to apologize, they’ll give fake ones like “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “Sorry, but you made me do it.” These aren’t real apologies; they’re blame disguised as remorse.
Authentic apologies heal relationships and show respect. Narcissists refuse this simple act because it means admitting they caused pain. They’d rather protect their ego than repair the damage. Without sincere apologies, trust crumbles and resentment builds in every relationship they touch.
5. Give Credit Where It’s Due
Did you know some bosses take credit for their team’s ideas? Narcissists excel at this behavior, stealing accomplishments from others without shame.
They’ll present your work as their own or conveniently forget to mention who actually did the heavy lifting. Recognition goes straight to them, while you remain invisible.
Acknowledging others’ contributions requires generosity and fairness, qualities narcissists don’t possess. They believe they deserve all the praise, even when they contributed nothing. This pattern destroys team morale and creates toxic environments. Sharing credit costs them nothing, yet they refuse because their inflated self-image depends on being seen as superior.
6. Show Empathy for Your Pain
When you’re hurting, most people naturally want to comfort you. Narcissists, however, see your pain as inconvenient or boring.
They might roll their eyes, change the subject, or even get angry that you’re upset. Your emotions become burdens they refuse to carry.
Empathy means feeling with someone and offering genuine support. Narcissists can’t connect with others’ suffering because they’re too focused on themselves. They may fake concern briefly if it benefits them, but real compassion never appears. This emotional coldness leaves people feeling alone even when the narcissist is physically present, creating deep loneliness in relationships.
7. Compromise or Meet You Halfway
Healthy relationships require give and take, but narcissists only know how to take. Compromise feels like losing to them, so they demand things go their way completely.
Whether choosing a restaurant or making major life decisions, their preferences always win. Your needs don’t matter in their calculations.
They’ll wear you down with arguments until you surrender. Some use guilt trips or silent treatment to get their way. Meeting halfway means valuing another person equally, which contradicts their belief that they’re more important. This rigid selfishness makes every decision a battle and leaves partners exhausted from constant fighting.
8. Keep Your Secrets Safe
Trust forms when someone proves they can hold your private information sacred. Narcissists betray this trust without hesitation.
They’ll share your secrets to entertain others, gain sympathy, or damage your reputation when angry. Your confidences become their weapons or gossip material.
Some even twist your words to make themselves look better. They don’t value your privacy because they don’t respect you as a separate person with rights. Protecting someone’s secrets is a basic friendship requirement, yet narcissists refuse this simple courtesy. Once you realize they can’t be trusted, the relationship loses its foundation and safety disappears completely.
9. Put Your Needs Before Their Wants
Imagine asking someone for help during an emergency, and they refuse because it’s slightly inconvenient. That’s how narcissists operate daily.
Even when you desperately need support, they’ll prioritize their smallest wants over your biggest needs. Their comfort always comes first, no exceptions.
Loving someone means occasionally sacrificing for their wellbeing. Narcissists view such sacrifices as unfair demands. They expect you to drop everything for them but won’t return the favor. This one-sided arrangement exhausts caring people who give endlessly while receiving nothing. Eventually, you realize you’re not in a relationship; you’re serving someone who refuses basic kindness.