10 Flirting Moves That Work in the Age of DMs and Dating Apps

Life
By Emma Morris

Dating has changed a lot since our parents’ generation. Now, most relationships start with a text, a DM, or a swipe on an app.

Knowing how to flirt online without being awkward or too forward can make all the difference between getting left on read and actually making a connection. These flirting moves will help you stand out and keep conversations fun, natural, and exciting.

1. The Soft-Launch DM

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Reacting to someone’s story is a great way to start talking, but your approach matters. Skip the basic heart emoji and go for something that actually shows you paid attention. Something like “That coffee looks elite. Where’s it from?” feels natural and opens the door to a real conversation.

This move works because it doesn’t scream “I’m trying too hard.” You’re showing interest without being overly intense. It gives the other person an easy way to respond and keeps things light.

2. Playful Teasing (But Keep It Classy)

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Light teasing can build chemistry faster than almost anything else. The key is keeping it funny and kind, never mean.

Humor naturally lowers people’s defenses. When you make someone laugh, they associate those good feelings with you. Teasing shows confidence and creates a fun, flirty vibe that feels different from boring small talk.

Just remember to keep it classy. Never tease about something sensitive or personal too early. Stick to lighthearted observations that show you’re paying attention to their personality and quirks.

3. The Compliment That Isn’t About Looks

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Everyone gets told they’re attractive on dating apps. It gets old fast. Instead of going with the typical “You’re hot,” try something deeper like “You’ve got such good energy” or “You’re actually really funny.”

These kinds of compliments feel more personal and genuine. They show you’re interested in who someone is, not just what they look like.

Depth creates real connection. When you compliment someone’s personality, humor, or vibe, they feel truly seen. That’s way more attractive than another comment about their appearance.

4. The Meme Flirt

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Sharing a meme that fits your inside joke or matches their personality is pure gold. Humor creates intimacy online, and memes are the perfect low-pressure way to show you get someone’s sense of humor.

This move works because it requires zero awkwardness. You’re not putting yourself out there in a risky way, but you’re still showing effort and attention. Plus, it gives you both something to laugh about and reference later.

Memes are the language of our generation. When you send the right one at the right time, it shows you understand their vibe. That shared laughter builds connection without feeling forced.

5. Voice Notes > Paragraph Texts

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A confident 10-second voice note saying “You have no idea how chaotic my day’s been” hits way harder than a text.

Tone is everything in flirting. When someone hears your voice, they pick up on your energy, humor, and confidence. It makes the interaction feel more real and intimate, even though you’re not face-to-face.

Voice notes show you’re not afraid to be yourself. They’re flirty without being too much, and they stand out from the endless stream of typed messages everyone else is sending.

6. Timing Is Everything

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Reply too fast, and you risk looking desperate. Wait too long, and the spark fizzles out. The sweet spot is somewhere in between—quick enough to show interest, but not so immediate that it seems desperate.

Good timing shows emotional control and confidence. It proves you have a life beyond your phone, which is incredibly attractive. People want someone who’s interested but not clingy, engaged but not obsessed.

This balance is what keeps attraction alive. When you master the art of timing, you create anticipation and keep the other person wanting more without playing games.

7. Ask Questions That Actually Matter

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Instead of asking “What do you do for fun?” try something deeper like “What’s something you’re really passionate about right now?” Better questions lead to better conversations and help you actually get to know someone.

Generic questions get generic answers. When you ask something that makes someone think, they’re more likely to give you a real, interesting response. That’s where real connection starts.

Meaningful questions show you’re not just killing time. You’re genuinely interested in who they are. That level of engagement is rare and incredibly attractive in a world of shallow small talk.

8. Use Their Name

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There’s something special about seeing your own name in a message. It makes things feel more personal and direct. Try saying “Sarah, I have to know—what’s your take on this?” instead of just jumping into the question.

Using someone’s name grabs their attention immediately. It shows you’re talking specifically to them, not just sending the same message to multiple people. That personalization makes them feel valued and special.

Psychologically, people love hearing their own name. It triggers a positive response and makes your messages more memorable compared to generic ones that could be sent to anyone.

9. Mirror Their Energy

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Pay attention to how someone texts and match their vibe. If they use lots of emojis, you can too. If they keep things short and casual, don’t send them novels.

When you match someone’s energy, conversations flow naturally. It shows you’re on the same wavelength and makes the other person feel understood. Nobody wants to feel like they’re talking to someone from a different planet.

This doesn’t mean copying everything they do. Just be aware of their communication style and adapt slightly. That social awareness is attractive and makes interactions feel effortless and fun.

10. Plan the Next Move

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Don’t let conversations live in your DMs forever. At some point, suggest actually doing something together. Say “We should continue this debate over coffee” or “Want to check out that place you mentioned?”

Moving from texting to real life shows confidence and genuine interest. It proves you’re not just looking for an endless pen pal. People appreciate someone who takes initiative and isn’t afraid to make things happen.

Timing matters here too. Don’t suggest meeting up in your first message, but don’t wait so long that the momentum dies. Strike while the chemistry is hot and turn digital flirting into a real connection.