MomSkoop
Have you ever talked to someone who just doesn’t seem to connect on a deeper level?
Some people struggle to understand or express their feelings, and certain phrases they use can give this away.
Recognizing these patterns can help you understand why some relationships feel shallow or unsatisfying.
1. “It’s not a big deal.”
When someone constantly dismisses situations with this phrase, they might be avoiding real feelings.
Minimizing problems doesn’t make them disappear—it just pushes them under the rug.
People who lack emotional depth often can’t handle uncomfortable conversations, so they pretend nothing matters.
This phrase shuts down communication before it even starts.
If your friend shares something important and hears this response, they’ll likely feel ignored or misunderstood.
True emotional connection requires acknowledging that what matters to others is valid.
Healthy relationships involve recognizing when something IS a big deal to someone else.
Even if you don’t fully understand their perspective, showing respect for their feelings builds trust and deepens bonds between people.
2. “You’re too sensitive.”
Calling someone too sensitive is a classic way to avoid taking responsibility for hurtful words or actions.
Instead of apologizing or trying to understand, the person turns the problem back on you.
This deflection protects them from facing their own emotional shortcomings.
Everyone has different sensitivity levels, and that’s perfectly normal.
What feels minor to one person might genuinely hurt another.
Someone with emotional depth understands this and adjusts their behavior accordingly rather than blaming others for having feelings.
If you hear this phrase repeatedly, consider whether this person can handle serious emotional conversations.
Real empathy means validating feelings, not criticizing someone for having them in the first place.
3. “Whatever.”
Did you know this single word can end a conversation faster than almost anything else?
When someone says “whatever,” they’re essentially checking out emotionally.
It signals they don’t care enough to engage, discuss, or find a solution together.
This dismissive response shows a lack of investment in the relationship.
People with emotional depth work through disagreements instead of throwing up walls.
They understand that problems need attention, not indifference.
Repeated use of “whatever” creates distance between people.
It tells the other person their thoughts and feelings don’t matter enough to warrant a real response.
Over time, this pattern erodes trust and intimacy in any relationship.
4. “I don’t care.”
Apathy is the opposite of connection.
When someone frequently declares they don’t care, they’re broadcasting their emotional unavailability.
While everyone has moments of indifference, making it your default response suggests deeper issues with emotional engagement.
People who say this often are protecting themselves from vulnerability.
Caring means risking disappointment or hurt, so they choose numbness instead.
Unfortunately, this self-protection also prevents meaningful relationships from developing.
Healthy individuals can admit when things matter to them.
They’re willing to be invested, even if it means sometimes feeling disappointed.
If someone constantly claims not to care, they’re likely missing the emotional depth needed for genuine connection.
5. “You’re overthinking it.”
Sometimes people do overthink situations, but using this phrase constantly is problematic.
It dismisses legitimate concerns and makes the other person feel foolish for processing their emotions.
Someone with real emotional intelligence wouldn’t repeatedly invalidate another’s thought process.
Thinking deeply about relationships and situations isn’t always a bad thing.
In fact, it often shows emotional awareness and a desire to understand complex feelings.
When someone tells you you’re overthinking, they might actually be underthinking.
This phrase can be a convenient escape route from difficult conversations.
Rather than engaging with your concerns, the person labels them as excessive.
Pay attention if you hear this often—it might reveal their discomfort with emotional complexity.
6. “Just get over it.”
Healing doesn’t work on command, yet some people act like emotions have an off switch.
This phrase reveals a fundamental misunderstanding of how feelings work.
Emotionally shallow individuals can’t grasp that processing hurt takes time and patience.
Imagine telling someone with a broken leg to just start running.
Emotional injuries need similar care and recovery time.
When people rush you through your feelings, they’re prioritizing their comfort over your healing process.
Someone with genuine emotional depth knows that moving forward requires working through feelings, not jumping over them.
They’ll offer support during your healing journey rather than demanding you hurry up and finish being sad already.
7. “That’s your problem, not mine.”
Relationships involve some level of shared concern for each other’s wellbeing.
When someone draws a hard line with this statement, they’re refusing to be emotionally available.
It’s a clear signal that they won’t be there when you need support.
While boundaries are important, this phrase often goes beyond healthy limits.
It suggests a selfish approach to relationships where the person only engages when convenient for them.
Emotionally mature people understand that caring about someone means their problems matter to you too.
This statement creates isolation rather than partnership.
If you frequently hear this from someone close to you, reconsider what role they actually play in your life and whether they’re capable of deeper connection.
8. “I’m fine.” (when clearly not)
Body language screams anger or sadness, but the words say “I’m fine.”
This contradiction reveals someone who can’t or won’t express their true feelings.
Emotional depth requires honesty about your internal state, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Many people learned to hide emotions during childhood, believing that showing feelings equals weakness.
While understandable, this pattern prevents authentic connection.
Partners and friends can’t support you if you won’t admit when something’s wrong.
Breaking through this barrier requires patience and creating safe spaces for honesty.
However, if someone consistently refuses to open up despite your efforts, they might lack the emotional tools needed for vulnerability and genuine intimacy in relationships.
9. “Can we not do this right now?” (as a pattern of avoidance)
Asking to postpone a difficult conversation occasionally is reasonable.
Everyone needs time to collect their thoughts.
However, when this becomes someone’s go-to response for avoiding any emotional discussion, it’s a red flag about their emotional capacity.
People who constantly delay serious talks are running from discomfort.
They hope if they avoid it long enough, the issue will magically disappear.
Spoiler alert: it won’t.
Unaddressed problems grow bigger and relationships suffer from lack of communication.
Someone with emotional maturity recognizes when conversations are necessary, even if they’re uncomfortable.
They might ask for a short break to prepare, but they don’t indefinitely dodge important discussions about feelings and relationship issues.
10. “You always make things dramatic.”
Labeling normal emotional responses as “dramatic” is a manipulation tactic.
It makes you doubt yourself and question whether your feelings are valid.
Someone who lacks emotional depth can’t distinguish between genuine emotion and exaggeration, so they label everything as too much.
What they call drama might simply be you expressing legitimate hurt or concern.
Emotionally intelligent people can handle a range of feelings without dismissing them as theatrics.
They engage with the content of your message rather than attacking your delivery.
If you constantly hear this accusation, examine whether you’re actually being dramatic or if this person just can’t handle real emotions.
Chances are, they’re uncomfortable with emotional expression and use this phrase to shut you down.
11. “I don’t do emotions.”
Some people wear emotional unavailability like a badge of honor.
They announce proudly that they don’t “do” emotions, as if feelings were optional.
This statement reveals someone who has either shut down emotionally or never developed the skills to process complex feelings.
Everyone has emotions, whether they acknowledge them or not.
Denying this fundamental part of being human doesn’t make you stronger or more rational.
It actually limits your ability to form meaningful connections and understand yourself and others.
When someone tells you they don’t do emotions, believe them.
They’re warning you that they can’t meet your emotional needs or engage in vulnerable, authentic relationships.
This level of emotional shutdown requires professional help to address properly.
12. “This conversation is pointless.”
Declaring a conversation pointless is the ultimate shutdown move.
It dismisses everything you’ve said and refuses to continue engaging.
People who frequently use this phrase can’t handle the discomfort that comes with working through relationship challenges.
Meaningful conversations about feelings might seem pointless to someone lacking emotional depth because they don’t understand the value of connection.
To them, if a discussion doesn’t have an immediate practical solution, it’s worthless.
They miss that the conversation itself builds understanding and intimacy.
Relationships require ongoing dialogue about feelings, needs, and experiences.
Someone who repeatedly calls these talks pointless isn’t equipped for the emotional labor that healthy relationships demand.
Their emotional shallowness prevents them from seeing the purpose of vulnerable communication.