If someone keeps using these 11 phrases, they may be lying about being in love

Words can be powerful tools for connection, but they can also hide the truth. When someone claims to love you, their language should match their actions and commitment.

Some people use specific phrases repeatedly to avoid genuine emotional intimacy while keeping you on the hook. Recognizing these warning signs can help you protect your heart and find a relationship built on honesty.

1. “I’m just not good at expressing emotions.”

Some people genuinely struggle with emotional expression, but this phrase becomes suspicious when used constantly as a shield.

Real difficulty with emotions doesn’t mean someone avoids all emotional conversations forever.

They work on it, try therapy, or find alternative ways to show care.

When this excuse appears every single time you need emotional support or reassurance, it’s a red flag.

Someone truly in love makes efforts to communicate better, even if it’s uncomfortable.

They don’t use this phrase as a permanent get-out-of-jail-free card.

Pay attention to whether they’re actually trying to improve or just repeating the same excuse.

Actions speak louder than words, and genuine love motivates people to grow beyond their comfort zones for their partner’s happiness.

2. “Love isn’t about labels.”

This phrase sounds modern and free-spirited, but it often masks commitment issues.

While some relationships truly don’t need traditional labels, this excuse becomes problematic when one person desperately wants clarity.

Refusing to define a relationship keeps the door open for other options.

Someone who genuinely loves you won’t mind calling you their partner, girlfriend, or boyfriend.

They’re proud to claim you publicly.

The label itself isn’t magic, but the willingness to use it shows they’re invested in the relationship’s future.

Watch how they introduce you to others and talk about your relationship in public.

If they consistently avoid any term that suggests commitment or exclusivity, they might be keeping their options open while enjoying your companionship.

3. “You’re overthinking this.”

Your feelings and concerns deserve validation, not dismissal.

This phrase shuts down important conversations before they even start.

It makes you question your own judgment and intuition about the relationship’s health.

Partners who truly care listen to your worries, even if they seem small.

They don’t gaslight you into believing your concerns are imaginary or exaggerated.

Healthy relationships include space for both people to express doubts and work through them together.

If you hear this phrase frequently, especially when raising legitimate questions about their behavior, it’s manipulation.

Trust your instincts when something feels off.

Your thoughts and feelings matter, and someone who loves you recognizes that truth without making you feel foolish.

4. “I show love in my own way.”

Everyone has different love languages, and that’s perfectly normal.

However, this phrase becomes problematic when someone refuses to show love in ways their partner actually needs.

Real love involves compromise and meeting your partner halfway, not just doing what’s comfortable for you.

If your partner knows what makes you feel loved but consistently ignores those needs, they’re being selfish.

Saying “this is just how I am” without any effort to adapt isn’t love—it’s convenience.

Genuine affection motivates people to step outside their preferences occasionally.

Notice whether they make any effort to understand your love language.

Do they ask what makes you feel valued?

Do they try, even imperfectly?

Or do they just keep doing exactly what they want while expecting you to accept crumbs?

5. “I care about you… isn’t that enough?”

Caring about someone and being in love are completely different things.

You can care about friends, coworkers, and distant relatives.

This phrase suggests they have some positive feelings but won’t commit to deeper romantic love.

When someone truly loves you, they don’t minimize your need for more substantial emotional connection.

They understand that love involves vulnerability, commitment, and ongoing effort.

Caring is the bare minimum, not the ultimate goal of a romantic relationship.

This phrase often appears when you’re asking for more commitment or emotional availability.

It’s designed to make you feel guilty for wanting what you deserve.

Don’t settle for someone who thinks basic human decency equals passionate love.

You deserve someone who’s all in.

6. “I’ve just been really busy lately.”

Everyone gets busy sometimes with work, family obligations, or personal challenges.

But when “busy” becomes a permanent excuse for neglecting the relationship, something’s wrong.

People make time for what truly matters to them, period.

Notice the pattern here.

Are they too busy for you but somehow available for friends, hobbies, or social media?

Do weeks pass without meaningful connection?

Someone genuinely in love finds small moments to check in, even during hectic periods.

This excuse often surfaces when you ask for more quality time or attention.

It puts the blame on external circumstances rather than their choices.

Real partners prioritize the relationship even when life gets crazy, because love isn’t something you do only when convenient.

7. “Why do you need reassurance all the time?”

Needing occasional reassurance in a relationship is completely normal and healthy.

This phrase makes you feel needy for having basic emotional requirements.

It’s a manipulation tactic that shifts blame from their lack of effort to your supposed insecurity.

Partners who truly love you don’t mind offering reassurance, especially if you’re going through a difficult time.

They understand that relationships require ongoing emotional maintenance.

Making you feel bad for needing validation is a way to avoid providing it.

Ask yourself if your needs are actually excessive or if they’re just inconvenient for someone who isn’t fully invested.

Healthy relationships include mutual support and understanding.

You shouldn’t have to apologize for needing to feel loved and valued by your partner.

8. “I’m not ready for anything serious right now.”

This phrase might be honest, but it becomes a lie when someone stays in the relationship anyway.

If they’re not ready for commitment, why are they wasting your time?

This keeps you hoping things will change while they enjoy relationship benefits without responsibility.

People who aren’t ready for serious relationships should step back and work on themselves.

Stringing someone along while claiming you’re not ready is selfish and manipulative.

It prevents you from finding someone who actually wants what you want.

The real question is whether they’re not ready in general or just not ready with you specifically.

Often, these same people suddenly become “ready” when they meet someone they’re truly excited about.

Don’t wait around hoping you’ll eventually be enough.

9. “Can’t we just go with the flow?”

Going with the flow sounds relaxed and carefree, but relationships need some direction.

This phrase often means they want all the benefits of partnership without any planning, commitment, or future discussions.

It keeps everything vague and undefined, which protects them but leaves you uncertain.

While spontaneity has its place, refusing to discuss the relationship’s direction is a warning sign.

Someone invested in a future with you welcomes conversations about where things are heading.

They don’t dodge every attempt to plan or define the relationship.

Notice if “going with the flow” only applies to commitment but not to other areas.

Are they suddenly very organized about career goals or vacation plans?

The flow philosophy often only emerges when you want to discuss exclusivity or long-term plans together.

10. “I don’t believe in traditional relationships.”

Some people genuinely prefer non-traditional relationship structures, and that’s valid if both partners agree.

This phrase becomes problematic when used to justify bad behavior or avoid normal relationship expectations like honesty, respect, and communication.

Being non-traditional doesn’t mean having no boundaries or commitments whatsoever.

Even open or unconventional relationships require clear agreements and mutual respect.

Using this as an excuse to do whatever they want without accountability is manipulation, not progressive thinking.

Question whether their “non-traditional” approach actually works for both of you or just gives them freedom while you feel confused and hurt.

Real alternative relationships involve lots of communication and agreed-upon rules.

If you’re constantly uncomfortable, this isn’t about being modern—it’s about being disrespected.

11. “You know how I feel—I don’t need to say it.”

Actions matter, but so do words.

Refusing to verbally express love creates doubt and insecurity.

If saying “I love you” is so difficult, why?

This phrase suggests they want credit for feelings they won’t actually claim or commit to expressing.

People truly in love don’t mind saying it.

The words feel natural and right.

Avoiding verbal affirmation while expecting you to just “know” is a way to keep emotional distance.

It prevents them from being fully vulnerable and accountable to their stated feelings.

Everyone needs to hear loving words sometimes, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Don’t let anyone make you feel silly for wanting to hear how they feel.

Words and actions should work together to create security and trust in a healthy relationship.