MomSkoop
Relationships should make you feel secure, valued, and respected. But sometimes, the person you care about might use sneaky tactics to keep you confused and off-balance.
Recognizing these manipulative behaviors can help you protect your heart and make better choices about who deserves your time and energy.
1. He Gives You Just Enough to Keep You Hooked
One day, he showers you with sweet messages and affection. The next day, he barely responds and acts distant.
This hot-and-cold behavior is not about him being busy or moody. He is deliberately keeping you in a state of uncertainty.
You find yourself craving those good moments, working harder to earn his attention. That is exactly what he wants—you chasing him instead of him proving his worth to you.
2. He Says “You’re Overthinking” When You Notice Red Flags
Your instincts tell you something feels wrong. Maybe he canceled plans last minute again or his story does not quite add up. When you ask about it, he immediately shuts you down.
Instead of addressing your concerns, he tells you that you are overthinking or being too sensitive. This tactic is called gaslighting—making you doubt your own judgment.
He wants you to stop trusting yourself so you will stop questioning him.
3. He Disappears… Then Comes Back Like Nothing Happened
He vanishes for days or even weeks without explanation. No texts, no calls, just silence. You spend that time wondering what you did wrong or if he is okay.
Then suddenly, he reappears, acting completely normal, like his disappearing act never happened. He might even be extra charming to smooth things over.
This behavior keeps you emotionally unbalanced and grateful when he returns. You become so relieved he came back that you forget to demand the respect you deserve.
4. He Keeps Things Vague
Ask him about your relationship status and he gives fuzzy answers. He does not like labels, is not ready to commit, or wants to see where things go naturally.
Meanwhile, he enjoys all the benefits of having you around—your time, attention, and affection. If things go wrong, he can claim he never promised anything.
When a person truly values you, they will not leave you guessing about where you stand or what you mean to them.
5. He Makes You Feel Like You’re the Problem
Every time you express a need or concern, the conversation somehow ends with you apologizing. He twists your words and flips the situation until you feel guilty for even bringing it up.
You wanted to talk about feeling neglected, but now you are sorry for being needy. This manipulation technique keeps you from advocating for yourself.
If you constantly end up as the villain in every disagreement, something is seriously wrong with the dynamic.
6. He Brings Up His Ex Constantly
Whether he is praising her cooking or mentioning how she used to dress, his ex keeps appearing in conversations. Sometimes he compares you directly; other times it is more subtle.
Either way, it plants seeds of insecurity. You start wondering if you measure up or if he still has feelings for her.
That uncertainty is intentional—it makes you try harder to win his approval. Your partner should make you feel chosen and valued, not in constant competition with a ghost.
7. He Bombards You With Attention, Then Pulls Away
At first, he was amazing—constant texts, thoughtful gestures, and intense interest in everything about you. This overwhelming affection made you feel special and swept you off your feet.
Then suddenly, that attention vanishes. He becomes distant, busy, or just less interested. You are left confused and desperately trying to recreate that initial magic.
This pattern is called love-bombing followed by withdrawal. It creates an addiction to his approval. It’s designed to keep you hooked and emotionally dependent on his unpredictable affection.
8. He Jokes About Things That Actually Hurt You
He makes fun of your appearance, your interests, or things you are sensitive about. When you express that it hurts, he tells you to relax because it was just a joke.
Real jokes make everyone laugh, including the person they are about. His comments leave you feeling small and insecure instead of amused.
Partners who genuinely care will never repeatedly make you the punchline, especially after you have asked them to stop.
9. He Keeps You Guessing About Where You Stand
He never clearly states his feelings or intentions. You cannot tell if you are exclusive, casual, or just friends who sometimes act like more.
Yet when you start pulling back or showing less interest, he suddenly gets jealous or possessive. He wants the freedom of keeping things unclear while also controlling your options.
Someone who truly wants you will communicate openly. They will not keep you in limbo while enjoying the perks of your devotion and emotional investment.
10. He Miraculously Shows Up When You Start to Move On
You finally decide to stop reaching out and focus on yourself. Maybe you start feeling better, going out with friends, or showing interest in someone new.
Right at that moment, he reappears with texts, calls, or sudden declarations of how much he misses you. His timing seems almost magical, but it is actually calculated.
He has been monitoring your distance and swoops back in before he completely loses control. This pattern keeps you trapped in a cycle of leaving and returning.
11. He Criticizes You in Subtle, “Helpful” Ways
He comments on your weight, suggests you dress differently, or questions your career choices. When you react, he acts surprised and claims he was just trying to help you improve.
His words are wrapped in concern, but they consistently make you feel inadequate. This is manipulation disguised as caring advice.
Real support builds you up and celebrates who you are. His criticism is designed to lower your self-esteem so you feel lucky he stays with you despite your supposed flaws. Someone who truly loves you will not constantly point out ways you need to change.
12. He Plays the Victim Every Time You Confront Him
You gather the courage to discuss something he did that hurt you. Before you know it, the conversation shifts completely. Suddenly, he is the one who is suffering, misunderstood, or having a hard time.
You end up comforting him instead of addressing your original concern. This emotional judo flips every confrontation so he never has to take responsibility.
You learn to stay quiet because bringing up problems only creates more drama. This manipulation tactic protects him from accountability while training you to suppress your needs.
13. He Keeps Secrets or Gives Half-Truths
He tells you enough to seem honest but conveniently leaves out important details. You find out later about events, people, or situations he never mentioned.
When confronted, he claims it did not seem important or that you never specifically asked.
Trust requires full honesty, not strategic omissions. Someone with good intentions does not constantly leave you discovering things they should have told you from the start.
14. He Makes You Compete for His Time or Attention
He mentions other women who are interested in him or casually flirts in front of you. He keeps his options open and makes sure you know it.
This behavior is not about confusion—it is about creating competition. He wants you to work harder, be more available, and prove you are worth choosing.
Someone who values you will not make you fight for basic respect and attention. Healthy relationships are built on mutual commitment, not contests. If he needs you to compete with others, he is not ready to truly choose anyone, and you deserve better than that.